Work Besties Who Podcast
Benefits of having a workplace bestie:
From collaboration, support, productivity, and friendly competition, to laughter... these are just a few values of having close working friendships.
As we talk to people from different industries, we'll learn about the different types of friendships and the value they bring, all within the span of a workday."
Work Besties:-)
Work Besties Who Podcast
Rev. Naeemah's Take on Work Besties (Part 2)
Today's episode features Reverend Naeemah (@naeemahlife), AGAIN! She offers so many insights we could not fit all the content in one episode.
So she is back and this time she offers a refreshing perspective on the concept of work besties. Instead of actively seeking out a close work friend, she recommends a more organic approach: let these connections come to you naturally. Her advice is to trust the process and remain open to the natural evolution of workplace relationships.
Let us know your thoughts? or have recommendations for the next guest, email at workfriend@workbestieswhopodcast or followers us on IG @workbestieswho podast.
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Work Besties! Theme Song Written by Ralph Lentini @therallyband
Hey guys, it's Jess and Claude here.
Claude:Hi everyone.
Jess:We are super excited for this episode. It's actually part two, but I guess it could be two and a half, based on the fact that we did a little bonus episode with her as well, but for this one we have the second half of our discussion with Naima, and the reason we wanted this one was because, well one, we talked with her and she just had so many fascinating, really empowering, very enlightening things to say. But the reason we broke them apart was because we did feel like there were two different topics. So this version, or this side of what we're going to talk about today is a little more around defining a work bestie, which I know we've done that. We did that in our kickoff one, but I love this version of it because Naima goes into some things that are unique and different, and then we also are going to focus a little bit more around how to find a work bestie, which we already saw a little bit from other people, right?
Claude:Well, everybody has, and I think the reason we wanted to incorporate this one.
Jess:It's a bit different, yes, which I loved, so we won't give that one away. But before we start this episode, I wanted to ask you, claude, since the beginning, has your definition or idea of what a work bestie changed? Because I know we talked about it in the OG yeah, the OG.
Claude:The origin story? No, I think for me it's still the same. It's still very much relevant and you want to know what it is still.
Jess:I mean, I know it, but maybe those who have not heard, any episodes don't because you say it in every episode.
Claude:I know, and I'm sure you know Jess is going to get like nausea from hearing from me because I always say it, I would never. It's one is first the laugh. I mean, it's all in the same level. It's the laugh, the good time, it's the support, knowing when to listen, when to give advice, and you're going to laugh. The yin and the yang, that did not change. It's really being complimentary of one another. What about you?
Jess:Did it change? It didn't change change, I mean. Besides, we're no longer work besties. I'm kidding. I think the only thing that I would shift slightly verse what I we talked about in the very beginning is the adaptability I do feel having a work bestie. You have to work at it, oh yeah, and you have to be able to adapt to where those people are and where they're evolving. So that's the one thing that I feel like we didn't really highlight or talk too much on in our origin story, but it's come up in other ones, but it's like a relationship, right.
Claude:Yeah, it's like any other relationship Relationships. You still need to work at it, I know life sucks, but it's not easy.
Jess:Work besties. They're not always easy. All right With that, let's kick off the episode Work.
Claude:Besties. So, to that point, I would love to have your point of view, as what is a work bestie? What is your definition of it? What is your definition? But also what is important, even though I don't want to put it in the box, right, but what is important for you to have as a work bestie Trust loyalty, empathy.
Naeemah:Those are the three words that I think for me is what I need. Those are the three words that I think for me is what I need. And the fourth one would be a good sense of humor, because I laugh a lot. It's just like life is serious enough without me not laughing. I'm going to laugh.
Jess:That's what I want to do, because life can be very serious, too short to take everything seriously, for sure.
Naeemah:Too precious, I say oftentimes. I rarely say life is too short, because it depends on who you're talking to in terms of time. So for me, life is precious and it can flip on a dime, it can change, it can evolve, it can do all these things, whether you like it or not, frankly right, and so it's just very precious, it's truly precious. So I try to laugh, and so all my work, bessie, is I laugh. We have good belly laughs and I think that's important. Even during some of the worst moments, we still manage to squeeze out a laugh here or there.
Naeemah:Yeah, so those four things for me are really important in the workplace into the work environment and not try to acknowledge that I'm working with human beings, like I try to see people for who they are and we don't always see all the things right, because we're coming into a workspace where we don't know one another and time is going to reveal who we are and all the various different challenges and mountains that we'll climb together and things that we will build together will reveal who we are as people and I try to give the space for that, even for the ones that are difficult. I try to give space for that. Again, that comes with, I think, maturity right, it's a professional maturity and we're all coming to with all of these different things. I think, like for me, I'm coming into the workplace as a woman, as a Black woman, as a mom. There are so many things that I'm coming to the table with and I know that everyone else is coming to the table with all sorts of things, and then what is required of us in that experience is also different for every one of us, depending on how we're coming to the table and then what is required of the company, and so and I say all of this to say that the experiences are so nuanced. So it requires, maybe another thing that I would add to that list in terms of my work besties flexibility, like you know.
Naeemah:Yeah, flexibility and adaptability. I think I've even said to some of my work besties that I didn't. Maybe you know I'm not a fan of that person. And then maybe fast forward two years and now that person is a part of our work bestie clique and we can talk about how we didn't like that person before, you know, or we didn't, you know, we didn't. We never thought that we would be friends with that person, thought that we would be friends with that person, and I think you know, we even experienced that clot right In our group. It was like people that we just never thought we would connect with and though we connected, in a moment that felt really difficult, it was very difficult for many of us. It was like really difficult and sometimes debilitating. Right In those experiences where we were able to find a common ground was within the humor, the adaptability, the flexibility, the empathy, the trust, you know, and there's something to be said about that If you are, I guess, willing to put in the work that it takes to nurture those relationships and I feel like you know and I just pinpoint the group that Claude and I are coming out of we all put in the work and for some of us it wasn't easy.
Naeemah:For some of us it wasn't easy, for some of us it was really hard. But I would, I would you know just the question, and I don't know that we really have answered it. I'm not even sure that we can answer it in one podcast. I mean, we probably have to, you know, join all you know podcasts that are like this together and have group conversations to really work through the experience. But you know, in terms of what to do when you're in those experiences and what tools you can utilize. You know, one of the things is also not having the awareness to not gaslight yourself when you're working in any experience, whether it's owning your own company or um, working for a corporation or another company, um, is to not gaslight yourself into believing that somehow every experience is going to be easy, because that's just not even life, right? Everyone on this call has children, right, and whether you've had your children like biologically, or you've adopted, right, they're your children and it's hard. No one has ever said, oh, being a mother is going to be so easy.
Naeemah:You know, that's not a thing. That's not a thing, right? Oh my God.
Jess:I'm going to say that they are a big liar.
Naeemah:Shepherding another soul right, is one of the most difficult things that any human being can do. You know whether, like I said, whether you're, you know, giving birth to that person or adopting that person, you're choosing to show up and shepherd another soul, which essentially is what we all do at work. Whether we want to talk about it or not. If you're a leader of a company, you are shepherding souls in that experience and people are looking to you for guidance. You're looking to other people for guidance, um, and and, and. That requires a lot and it's never going to be easy. I think, even if even in the work bestie experience right, even in the work bestie experience, it's not going to be claude, and I I mean I, I can say this about claude and old claude that we've actually even talked about this. But there were some times in the workplace where claude didn't feel like talking and you went in the office and you kind of knew when Claude didn't want to be bothered. How are you doing today, claude? I'm fine, and she would still be looking at her computer and she'd be serious and she would turn around and look over under her, you know, over her glasses and you knew that Claude was not in the mood and okay, claude, see you later. You knew that Claude was not in the mood and okay, claude, see you later. By lunchtime he had warmed up and it was, and it was fine. Yeah, but it's just, it's. It's never easy. I think it's.
Naeemah:I think it is important to point out that you know, clearly there are people with really bad habits, right, so we can't negate that. There are people out here who need to be, they need a spanking, and I'm not talking about the fun type, and it's just like they really need a beat. That's another podcast. That's another podcast. Sorry, I'm disruptive, no, but just the relationships in the workplace are challenging, just in general, to navigate, and there's always going to be some challenging and difficult space, depending on where we each are, and there's a lot to navigate there. There's a lot to navigate there. There's a lot to navigate there.
Naeemah:I've had many things that I've that, unexpectedly to me, you know that I've had to deal with in in the workplace, like I said, as a woman, as a mom, as a black woman. It's just, it's just challenging and I think that that one of the tools that any human being can give themselves is just to acknowledge the fact that it's not going to be easy. It may not be easy. You may get moments of it being easy. Right, claude and I have had some fun times. I had some fun times with all the work besties that I've had. We've had great times. But then there are some times we haven't had great times.
Jess:But I think the one thing you can take away from this is that the work besties do help to ease, both in the highs and the lows. Right, Because you knew Claude well enough to know. Okay, she's in her zone. This is not the time to talk to her but you probably don't have that with everybody else, everybody knows my mood.
Claude:Everybody knows, especially when I say hold on, I mean one of my moods.
Naeemah:Yes, it was the hold on for me, hold on, hold on, and it was usually over a deck. It was like a deck and the deck was due.
Claude:This is sounding very familiar and I was re-looking at comas. Where werelooking at comas? Where were the white comas?
Naeemah:it was the deck for the deck that actually explained the real plan about the deck. That explained the plan because we all know the comma is what sells. You know the comma is what makes the bottom line move. Of course that's what makes the bottom line move.
Jess:Of course, that's what makes it green.
Claude:Yeah, it's funny. See, now we laugh, right, because now you go back where you know again, and that's where the laugh comes also, naima, right, where you know you, now you're detached, you'll go away, and now it's almost like good time. You, now you're detached, you'll go away, and now it's almost like good time. You know where it's not good time. It's comical, it's like oh, do you remember? You know, and it became, and I think it's also something with your mind, where you, your mind, tried to make it as a funny moment.
Naeemah:Yes, yeah, Right.
Claude:So it's something that and I think it's kind of a protection, you know, to protect yourself.
Naeemah:Yes, yeah reason and I've been trying to like find support in terms of like maybe professionals who are working in the space, or you know psychologists who might be digging into this space where protection is key, and I feel like a lot of us walk into these experiences and we are not protecting ourselves. And by protection I mean and I'll use you, claude, as just an example Like you, claude, if you're my boss, you are not going to hold a certain amount of space in my mind, because that's not what I should allow you to do. That's like a protective mechanism. I think. Like we give people the space, like we just move them in to the museum. We move them into the museum, oh, come with me and walk around.
Naeemah:And then the person goes well, I want to touch the Mona Lisa, go ahead, touch it. And we just kind of like, let these people hold this space in our minds and we don't protect ourselves minds and we don't protect ourselves. And I think it's important. It's a hard thing to do, I don't want to make it sound easy, but it's something that I think we all need to work on, cultivating more. And this is where just the detachment comes into play.
Jess:This feels more to me like I think I understand where the protection than the detachment, but I see where there's like a fine line between the two than the detachment.
Naeemah:But I see where there's like a fine line between the two. There is.
Claude:And I think also it becomes also. I think you protect yourself, but also your tribe, we protect each other.
Jess:You probably have to continue to remind some of the stuff that we had God was like remember, there's a greater good. This is not about them. You got to get what you had to do. Claude was like remember, there's a greater good, there's more like. This is not about them. You got to get what you need to do to get done. This is the being not the doing. How do you overcome?
Naeemah:that the being, not the doing. And I think even the example that I gave earlier of Claude being like hold on a second, if I was a different type of person and I took Claude's moment right, that that moment doesn't belong to me. It's Claude. Claude's working on the debt. Claude's got the debt, the due date on the debt, she's got to figure out the commas, right, um, and. And she clearly hasn't asked me for help, right? So that's the other thing. Claude didn't say Naima, come over here and help me with this comma, right? She said hold on a second. I'm in a moment, glasses down, you know, looking at me, you know very serious, right? I could have gone back to my desk and been distraught about it. Oh, my god, claude hates me. She's oh, I could have gone into, yeah, like I could have gone into such a space, but how I protect myself is to know that that's, that's quads, all of that.
Claude:But I was still polite. I have to say I was still polite.
Naeemah:You were still polite, but I think for other. Now, this is where vitality and stamina come into play, right, Because maybe for somebody else you might not have been polite.
Claude:right Because maybe, oh my goodness- Now I have to think of all the things I've been doing.
Jess:You don't technically have to, but no, it's good, it's your moment. It's good, but I think that's the difference. Right, it's your moment. You cannot assign how everyone else is going to react to you. That's on them. You were not mean.
Naeemah:You were not.
Jess:You weren't positive, but you weren't negative.
Claude:You were just you were you and you were very clear with what was going on, of those moments. That is where it comes as trust, where your work bestie should be able to say to you okay, look you, you were not cool, or you know, you were not right, and the work bestie has to.
Naeemah:Yes, we're dancing around. Actually, something that you and I, claude, did really really well and I think we do really well, which is communication, communication. So there would be times and this is probably one of my fondest memories of Claude Claude would come over and be like I hope that I did not do X, y and Z, and half of the time I didn't even know what Claude was talking about.
Naeemah:Yeah, but just no, really, can you write it down? Yeah, like what are you saying? Yeah, claude, to be like I hope that I didn't offend you and I'm like what, I'm trying to figure out my own comma over here what are you talking about? Right, but I never said that to Claude. Like I would be like, oh no, like I probably did ask her what she was talking about in the beginning, but then, realizing that she was taking that experience, that communication very seriously, was important to me because of two reasons.
Naeemah:One, she had the awareness to say you know what? There is a possibility that my actions may have not landed on Naima in the way that I intended it. So let me double back and communicate to her what my intentions actually were. And even though half the time I didn't take it the way Claude thought I was taking it, it meant a lot to me to have that level of self-awareness. So communication and self-awareness are really key as well, because there were also times where I did the same to Claude. Like Claude, I hope that like, what I meant by that was X, y and Z, and Claude would also be like oh no, I don't even know what you're talking about. I'm working on the capital letters. You know that kind of thing, and sometimes it was a page number. She's like I'm working on the page numbers.
Jess:But I think to your point in any work relationship, whether or not it's your bestie or not, you have to continue to work at that right like that never goes away, because you always still want to check in and ensure, both from your perspective and theirs, our communications. Everyone's different. There's no right or wrong in how to communicate, but knowing and having that self-awareness and respect for the other person to check in, I think, is what sets you from just being a co-worker to like a work bestie.
Naeemah:Yeah, yeah.
Jess:I agree.
Naeemah:I totally agree yeah.
Jess:Should we ask the age old question?
Claude:Oh, he's here.
Jess:If you were to talk to like future generations and how, yeah, how um suggest or help them find work besties. Do you have any pearls of wisdom?
Naeemah:Ooh, oh. I don't think that you find your work bestie. I think that, um, they come naturally to you when you need them, when you need them the most. So I would say don't look for a work bestie, because then you start looking like a stalker and you start looking like the office lunatic. You know that everyone talks about.
Jess:There goes our idea of a work bestie app, swipe left.
Naeemah:That's like another. That's another moment that we could talk about, because I do think that that's like another that's another moment that we could talk about, because I I do think that that's actually what's wrong with all relationships in the workplace, yes, and the world. It stems from that experience right there.
Naeemah:Um, but I I guess the advice that I would give is um is when you find your work bestie, treat them like a human being and give them the space. Give each other the space to be who you are and have open communication and honest communication. I think that's all we can ask and encourage one another to train your mind. When you train your mind, you show up differently. You show up differently.
Jess:What do you, what do you mean by train your mind?
Naeemah:Is that going back to the that's going back to meditation and, again, not touching all the paintings in the. You don't have to touch Michelangelo's parts, you don't have to do that. Okay, you don't just to touch Michelangelo's parts, you don't have to do that, just look at the statue. But it's a good metaphor. You don't have to go into the museum and touch all the pieces, you can just observe. And I think that's a training that we all have not been, that we haven't all yet absorbed as a society, right. But the wellness industry, which is a trillion dollar business, a trillion plus dollar business, right, is making money off of this experience, meditation, et cetera.
Naeemah:But it's a trillion dollar business for a reason, and I think, for my own self, I have seen where it can work, where I'm training my mind and I'm training myself to not interact with all the things that are running through my mind. Sometimes I've had things about, let's say, a boss, or even like a work bestie. I hope that person didn't walk away thinking this and it's like I'm making that up in my mind. My mind is just like running away, like I've. I've walked into, you know, the, the, the gallery of self doubt, or the gallery of fear, or the gallery of, of, of, of all sorts of things. Right, make believe you know making up all sorts of stories and you can decide whether or not you want to engage with those things or not. I hope this was beneficial.
Naeemah:I hope someone finds it beneficial.
Jess:I do feel like we should have so many more conversations. We've checked already somebody, yeah yeah. And you helped me.
Naeemah:I wish I had like a little toolbox.
Jess:You helped Claude understand that there is a value of having work besties above and below. Yeah, Exactly.
Claude:But at least you know. But that's the beauty of it, right? You can agree to disagree, and that comes back to trust and respect, right, it's okay. We are human beings, we all have our thoughts, and it's really talking about things that you agree or disagree. You give the points, you take the points. It doesn't mean that you're not going to be friends ever. No, mean that you're not going to be friends ever, no. That's where you teach each other of seeing other side than your own side, because otherwise I would be my own best friends, right, but for me, your best friend is also showing me another facet of yes, the perspective is key.
Naeemah:So you know, I think the old saying is like how does the saying go? Something about leading and perspective. I don't remember the saying right now, but everyone is coming from their own perspective and if there's no willingness to see another person's perspective, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. It doesn't work, yeah, it doesn't work. I think our relationship is a testament to that right. I'm coming from a different perspective, you're coming from a different right, and that perspective is also rooted in where we even come from, right. You being French, exactly you being, you know, living in Europe, right, growing up in Europe and then coming here and working. Me being a Black female, growing up here in the United States. We come to the table with those different perspectives.
Claude:Yeah, and that's what I love also about our relationship is learning from each other, learning from our background, and how many discussions did we have right during the pandemic and everything and just learning, yeah, and that's for me so important also in the work bestie, or which become the best a friend after, what a bestie. Afterwards you know it's really learning from each other.
Naeemah:And it's so important. You guys may have to eventually define bestie, just the word bestie, because I think some people think that that means you're going to always be talking 24 hours a day or always going to be seeing each other, and that isn't the definition of a bestie.
Naeemah:No, my personal definition of a bestie.
Naeemah:My personal definition of someone that's a bestie is something that you touched on, jess, and in the beginning, where you're like you speak to these people and maybe you haven't spoken in a long time, but when you do speak it's kind of like you just take off where you left off.
Naeemah:And for me there's something so beautiful about that and it really informs my own personal definition of bestie, which is someone that I give them the space to live their life and be who they are, and they give me the same space to be who I am. And we don't always speak, and that's okay. We may not always be able to get together for dinner, or we may not always be able to get together for dinner, or we may not always be able to get together for drinks, but when we do connect, we kind of take off from where we left off at, because we give each other that space and we understand and we can even, at times, remind one another hey, I haven't seen you in a long time. Get your shit together. Meet me for some drinks, right, yeah, and I think that's important and it's, yeah, it goes back to that trust again.
Claude:You trust the friendship of each other, right? Doesn't mean again that you haven't seen each other for a while, and, naima, if you think about it, that's what also happened, right.
Naeemah:But each reconnect I mean, at least for me, I have a great time, I get you know, and we don't have the extra pressures of the comma or the capital letters or the page numbers it does take the rest of your time, it does take the rest of your time to a different level after that, right.
Claude:Exactly.
Naeemah:Totally. We don't have to worry about the deck we're working on in the morning, you know, at least not together anyway. Yeah, exactly yeah. Thank you both. This is fun.
Jess:Thank you. It's so nice to have you on and to finally meet you, claude talks. Thank you, it's so nice to have you on and to finally meet you. I can't talk so highly about you so often, so it's so amazing to have the face to face the same.
Naeemah:For you, it was a pleasure.
Claude:Again so inspirational. I really love talking to Naima and at the same time, very fun. Her voice is so soothing, isn't?
Jess:it. I could listen to her voice for days. She should have, like she should have her own meditation tapes like yeah, and then you know for people, you know what it is.
Claude:Those apps where it's like lullaby they let you fall to make you fall asleep. I don't know that she makes you fall asleep, she just calms me no, but exactly, yeah, that is where.
Jess:Yeah, yeah, like I'm always on edge listening to her, but it's just calming, like you're like paying attention, like on edge listening to her, but it's just calming, you're paying attention On edge like oh, what is she going?
Claude:to say next, not on edge like that, but because I want to hear what she has to say Exactly.
Jess:That's why we have three episodes, because we didn't want to stop, we didn't want to stop and we didn't. If anyone wants more episodes, we probably could slice 10 more, yeah.
Claude:But that was great Otherwise it. But yeah, it was again very inspirational. How work bestie, how important again a work bestie is in your life.
Jess:So let's leave it with a question to the audience. How do they define a work bestie, and is there anything that we've missed, whether from our any of the other past conversations we've had or the one today? I would love to hear from people Provide us your ideas and with that we say to all the work besties out there keep supporting each other. Good job. You did it, I did it. Work, besties.
