Personal Branding at Work: Authentic, Not Exposed

In this episode of Work Besties Who Podcast, Jess and Claude sit down with executive coach and leadership strategist Kathryn Booker-Veloz to answer the question so many professionals struggle with: How do you show up authentically—without oversharing and regretting it later?

Kathryn breaks down what real workplace authenticity looks like (hint: it’s not perfection, and it’s not bringing every personal detail to work). You’ll learn a simple “intent vs. impact” check before you speak up in a meeting or post on LinkedIn, how to “read the room,” and how to build trust while still keeping healthy boundaries. Plus, Kathryn shares how leaders can create “breathing points” for their teams and why younger generations are demanding more humanity at work.

What you’ll learn

• What “authentic” actually means at work (and why perfectionism backfires)
• The difference between being real and oversharing
• Kathryn’s 10-second visibility check: intent vs. impact
• How to share stories that build trust (without crossing personal boundaries)
• What to post (and not post) on LinkedIn
• How leaders can create psychological safety—without losing credibility
• How to find (or become) a “work bestie” when trust feels risky

Guest

Kathryn Booker-Veloz — Executive coach & leadership strategist, founder of Influence Leadership Lab. She has coached 300+ leaders in high-stakes environments where visibility, power, and reputation matter.

Work with Kathryn

Kathryn is offering a complimentary 1-hour coaching call to help you work through a real challenge in real time.
Website: kathrynexecutive.com

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Work Besties! Theme Song Written by Ralph Lentini @therallyband

Transcript

The 10-second visibility check

Jess K 0:00

What's your quick 10-second visibility check to know if what you're about to say or post is authentic or oversharing? Let's get into it.

Claude F 0:10

Hi, I'm Cloon. And I'm Jess. We are corporate employees by day, entrepreneurs by night, and work besties for life.

Jess K 0:18

Join us as we explore how work besties lift each other up, laugh through the chaos, and thrive together in every industry. Work besties! Welcome back to Work Besties Who Podcast, the show where we help you grow your career with the support only a true work besties can give.

Claude F 0:38

It's our authenticity and personal branding month. And today we are tackling something that can feel so confusing. How do you show up as yourself at work and online without becoming the person who overshares and regrets it later?

Jess K 0:53

Because your personal brand isn't just what you say about yourself, it's what people experience when they work with you.

Claude F 0:59

Today we are joined by Catherine Booker Veloz, executive coach and leadership strategist. She became the youngest leader on her C-suite team by 25, advised senior US diplomats, and has coached 300 flat leaders through high-stakes environments where visibility, power, and reputation are always in the room.

What authenticity really looks like at work

Jess K 1:24

Catherine, we're so excited to have you on. We know you've coached many people and you've coached them in many different environments where reputation really does matter. From your perspective, what does real authenticity look like and in at work?

“Bring your whole self” (and what that doesn’t mean)

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 1:40

Yes, thank you so much, Jess and Claude, for having me on your podcast. I'm so excited to be here. As you all mentioned, I have worked as a US diplomat myself, civil servant with the US federal government, work in the Peace Corps as well, and have been exposed to various leaders at all different levels, including walking shoulder to shoulder with US ambassadors and helping to coach and lead and guide them as well. And so, you know, when you ask the question, which I I love, of you know, how to show up authentic authenticity or authentically, sorry, in the workplace, one of the things I think is super important is to just be honest. And what I mean by honesty is that sometimes leaders, especially the more higher you go, they can feel like they have to juggle all of these balls and to have this idea of perfection whenever they show up in front of their the staff that they lead. But what we know is that perfectionism doesn't exist. And so there is a way, and what I have seen myself and in coaching various folks, is that you can show up authentically by being honest, using discretion and wisdom, and really trying to meet people where they are in order to take them where they want, where you want them to go.

Jess K 2:58

Do you feel that there might be a misunderstanding when people say bringing your whole self to work?

Oversharing: how to know when you’ve crossed the line

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 3:04

I definitely do. And I'll explain. We have different versions of ourselves, right? When we're with family at Thanksgiving, when we're with our friends, when we're, you know, in the mall or, you know, traveling somewhere. We have different, you know, versions of ourselves, if you will. And I think sometimes what people kind of miss is when you say or when you hear, bring your whole self to work. That doesn't mean all of your baggage that we've acquired since even childhood. It doesn't mean bringing that snarky, cynical perspective to work, in my view. It's a matter of kind of still showing up in excellence and showing up as your as your best self in the sense of professional, genuine, sincere, but still making sure that kindness is also the undercurrent of you bringing your best self to work.

Claude F 3:57

At what point do you realize that oversharing? When is it oversharing?

Boundaries and reading the room

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 4:06

So I think it's oversharing when people feel the need to. So I was at work one day and I was actually taking a break from my desk, and I weaved my way through to get to the hallway to go to the break room. And this colleague stopped me and just randomly started to talk to me about how she had friends in high school who were racist, just to be blunt. And this was in the middle of the workplace where everyone could hear you in their cubicle, talking about, yeah, I used to have friends who were just so racist. I'm so happy I'm out of that small town and I'm here now. The comment was short-sighted and it wasn't appropriate in the sense of there is no need to talk about your experience with racist childhood peers in the workplace. It has nothing to do with what we're doing in humanitarian development or being a diplomat or anything like that. It was just this random thought that she just felt the need to share. That is an example of making sure that we are mindful of intent versus impact. And that is really how we can determine if we're oversharing or not. You know, you know, what's really your intention behind the comment that you're about to make? You should even chime in to a comment that was already made, you know, whether it's to make a joke or or not. Sometimes those things are not necessary. So intent versus impact is really gonna be your your guiding light. Super helpful.

Jess K 5:36

It really helps to uh explain or talk to why the element of having boundaries at work is important to think I tend to overshare.

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 5:49

We can work on that, it's okay.

Jess K 5:51

Why don't you give us an example? Maybe a better thing to think about is okay, so in in cases where you think you overshare, what would you do differently?

Claude F 5:59

I don't know. I I I tend to always say things about my life, like my son, he got a speeding ticket again, and you know, about some personal life that maybe nobody needs to know. Well, what's what's your intent? No, to to connect with people.

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 6:15

Okay. Yeah. I think having the ability to read the room is really important. When people if they're just starting out in a position and you're not really sure who's who just yet or their background, then maybe we could use discretion in that case. But if it's in a in an environment, a workplace environment where you've been in for a while, you have an idea, a sense of the colleagues that you're working alongside of, I think that can also help folks tailor and determine, okay, I can share this or I need to maybe pull back. Yeah.

Claude F 6:43

It's also the moment I think it's important, you know, when everybody's like working or busy or whatever.

Jess K 6:49

You just put it head down, and everyone's like, I have to get this done for two o'clock. And you're like, well, let me tell you about my son and the speeding ticket and cast, read the room, don't intent versus impact. I think that's a beautiful five-second gut check in your head to think before you you do start blurting out about personal stuff. But knowing certain people, and it's almost as if their identity is the person who just blurred out. How do you help differentiate that type of that is your personality or what brand you've become versus helping to craft people away from that?

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 7:25

Yeah, and to me, Jess, it goes back to the bring your whole self to work or your full self to work.

Jess K 7:31

Yeah.

Armor vs. authenticity (Brené Brown’s framework)

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 7:32

I think there's a time and place for everything, right? And I think this is where people have kind of gotten to miss the mark a bit when you say show up as your whole self. Because if your whole self is blurting out maybe inappropriate comments that maybe make your friends laugh, but in the workplace may have a different impact, then maybe decide to kind of put that trait or characteristic on the back burner. And it goes back to kind of what I mentioned earlier about using that discretion and wisdom and knowing the folks that you talk to. Whether we like it or not, how the traits that we have, good or bad, they have an impact on the people that we are walking alongside of, working alongside of. And so it's important for us to think, okay, well, what are some other traits or characteristics that also are aligned with my values and identity that I can bring to the forefront when I'm at work and maybe put the blurting out things on the back burner until I get home or in a different space outside of the workplace? Maybe at a happy hour you could do that, maybe, but maybe not when you're on the clock.

Jess K 8:38

Yeah. That's fair. So on the flip side, there are a lot of people that do overshare, but then there are the people that almost wear like uh an armor and you know nothing about them. What is that balance? Or is there one? Is it better to keep up the body armor and never share anything?

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 8:55

So I actually love what Dr. Brene Brown talks about, where in her book, Dare to Lead. Um, highly encourage folks, if you haven't read it, to read up the that book. And it's based on armored traits and brave traits. And so whenever you show up with your armor on, it actually keeps you from being seen, is what the research shows. It keeps you from having the ability to authentically connect with people in a way that's genuine and sincere. And so some of the traits of armored behavior include cynicism, perfectionism, which again, we said doesn't exist. And it's this whole idea if I look perfect, work perfect, and act perfect, I can minimize shame and ridicule, according to Dr. Brene Brown's research. But what we found on the other end of that is that it keeps people from seeing, okay, are you an actual human being? Are you a robot? One of the things I've seen firsthand as and as a coach is that especially as millennials and Gen Zs are coming into the workplace in greater numbers, so many of them have confided in me and have told me, Catherine, I'm not a robot. I'm a human. There are many aspects of who I am. And I feel like they've told me some people, you're just so head down and get the task done. Don't complain, be quiet, go to work. But what we're seeing is that as younger generations come in, it's no, I need to see some level of humanity. I need to see that maybe if you don't have the answers in this all all staff meeting, admit that you don't have the answers and you're still working to figure it out. Or if you're on in a one-on-one with one of your bosses, right? Or if you're the boss having a one-on-one with one of your staff, admitting, okay, yeah, we're still working through this. I'm a little lost myself, and I'm trying to find the answers, but we're gonna get there. I I like to call them breathing points where it's like, okay, we can sigh. Okay, it I it it's okay that you don't have it all figured out. And and I understand and I appreciate you trying to tell me the honest truth as opposed to telling a lie, right? No matter how big or small about the situation.

Claude F 11:02

Yeah, I I love I love this because it's really show you as a human being. It's not like my boss, your boss. It's like we are human beings and we are all together in in this instance. And I think this is so powerful also to have this connection with each other.

Empathy, Humanity, And Trust

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 11:19

Exactly, exactly. And I think it's something that people kind of overlook because it's almost like we're conditioned since childhood to have it all figured out and to look like we know we have all the answers. But when you're in positions of leadership, and even if you're not in the quote unquote fancy title sense, what we're seeing still is that people need to know that you have emotions, basically, just at the most basic level, and that you're able to empathize with people. I think empathy is really important here, compassion and having that ability to say it's okay. There's grace. Grace is also really key in my perspective.

Jess K 12:03

These are ways that uh it helps you to build the trust versus when you do pretend like you do know or almost put a back on them to like, well, figure it out, you create this like uncomfortable situation. So having that conversation to say, I don't know either, let's figure it out. Yeah, it really could change a dynamic like that.

Claude F 12:22

Yeah, it's showing a safe place that you're actually giving a safe place. We are all together.

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 12:28

That's so true.

Jess K 12:29

From a leadership capacity, having the ability to walk the line of when to share versus not share. There's now this new cultural element around social media and sharing things personally through business elements like LinkedIn. Knowing your background and how you coach, how do you view LinkedIn and what's appropriate versus not for sharing there?

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 12:53

Yes, thank you just for this question. Something that immediately popped into my head was we don't need to know about your problems with your mom or your dad or your daughter, your teenage daughter or teenage son. And sometimes people have used social media to air out all of their dirty laundry or maybe personal issues or challenges. LinkedIn is definitely not the place. I would also encourage folks, don't even put it on Facebook or Instagram. Because it begins to shift people's perspectives of you, even at the most subconscious level, of thinking this person maybe doesn't have it all together, or I actually don't feel like I can trust them because they're telling me about their marital issues or you know, personal, you know, challenges that they're facing. One thing I will say though is I would encourage folks to always check and see is what I'm about to share relevant to the person I'm speaking with? And is it relevant to the work that we're trying to accomplish in the workplace? And if it's not any of those two things, then I would refrain from sharing it. Even at a happy hour, even at a quote unquote, we're having drinks, or even in those spaces, you're still on, if is what I had a former boss tell me. You're always on, um, whether it's happy hour or if you're on the clock at work officially. And so what you say in those little micro moments is what I like to call them, really determine if people can have a sense of, oh, I can let me call Claude, because I trust that she can help me get this done. It just impacts that at that level, is what I would say.

Claude F 14:33

I totally understand that you are on. Even with my team, when we are in sex meeting, I'm like, please do not get drunk because you are on. It's like after even if we are dinner, the meeting or done, but you're still in. But at what point when you say during those micro moments, because you just say don't share too much either, and that will help you say, Oh, I trust this person. So which part of oversharing is that will make people not share, you know, trust me.

Trust, safety zones, and the “earned the right” rule

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 15:05

Yeah, so I think I don't I wouldn't consider it oversharing if you have a story that is tied to the workplace that you can share as like advice to someone of look, I failed at this. I don't think saying that you failed at a task and you're in the workplace is oversharing by any means. I think what becomes oversharing is getting into the real personal nitty-gritty of your life with people who have not earned the right to hear the story.

Jess K 15:35

That's what I love. This ties perfectly to the whole ethos of our podcast, which is work besties. So it's you need to create a safe environment from a leadership perspective for your people, and you need to create a safe relationship. So you need to know ahead of time if the person you're talking to, regardless of where you're at. So even if you are at a um off-site location at a restaurant, yeah, a sanctioned work happy, or just uh an informal one, you need to know if that person is already a part of your safety zone.

Claude F 16:07

I love the way where you say it like they had the right to listen because it kind of goes back on them. And to really understand that even if you think about it, the both of us, we didn't just start sharing like from the beginning. It it took a while until we trust each other, and then now I mean it's everything, but you know, but yeah, I think the you're right, it's really understanding that portion of the trust and building the trust, and then you can.

Jess K 16:38

But you bring up an interesting dynamic, which again is a part of our whole work bestie ethos is how do we create this community or ability for everybody, no matter where they work, to have that safety zone. So if you are in an environment where you don't have the work bestie, how would you leverage maybe some of your skill sets that you're talking to to help find somebody that you could feel safe with?

Friendships, Promotions, And Culture

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 17:03

The recent study that was put out by the Surgeon General who talked about the national epidemic of loneliness. And it is very, very fascinating, and especially being in the DC area, which is so different from where I grew up. I'm a native Oklahoma, slash lived in Dallas, Texas, and then coming out to this where it can feel really cutthroat and power hungry, and some people are leveraging relationships to get to the to the next level and they're not genuine or sincere. It's just all self-focused, which perpetuates that sense of loneliness. But I would say that first and foremost, if you were in environment in an environment where you don't have a work bestie, I also actually that was me for many years because I'm I'm more reluctant to trust people, especially when you are in an in a competitive environment. I used to hear the term at my previous job before I started my company, where people don't just backstab you, but they front stab you too. And I'm like, really? And hearing that and walking with people through those situations is really intense, but it is a real, very real experience. So I would still say to someone, if they don't have a work bestie, is to try to be that good bestie for your own self first. So really making sure that you're embodying the values that you want in a work bestie. And then I believe that just by nature of the law of attraction, you will eventually get those people in your circle just by you embodying it yourself.

Claude F 18:41

You just said you didn't used to have one, right? Do you believe in having work friendship at work?

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 18:50

I definitely do, Claude. I think having work relationships and friendships have really been the deciding factor of me helping to get me promoted, right? At such a young age and having the ability to have the wisdom of folks, especially who have come before me, it to pour into me and say, Yeah, I would be mindful of this, watch out for that, who have the the historical knowledge of the institution, even. I definitely think having those friendships is critical.

Leading through change + multi-generational teams

Jess K 19:16

Thank you. I I feel like the way you say it, you have to embody it first. Be that bestie to yourself first is so spot on. Whenever we talk about why do people stay in work environments where things aren't great, it winds up being because you have that work bestie, somebody who's sitting there as your champion, and vice versa. So you also continue to help build this most positive momentum, even in environments that might not be positive. In essence, what you're saying is it actually starts with one, and then you just need one to continue to grow in it. It's the opposite of a loneliness epidemic, it's the positive of a friendship epidemic. So you you hit on a bunch of themes that I think in the work bestie community really come to life around being authentic, being supportive, really knowing your value and worth, knowing what you do now in your own company. What kind of people are coming to you? What are the typical questions that you are most often working with them on?

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 20:24

A lot of folks are trying to navigate the shifting political landscape of the US right now. Also, in addition to that, the five different generations that are in the workplace. So it's like these two spinning plates, if you will, at the same time of okay, there are major policy shifts that are happening at the governmental level, but they're trickling down to private sector and to other, you know, small business owners. And then there's also this generational shift in how, um, as I mentioned earlier, how Gen Zs and millennials, um, and of course Gen X, boomers, the even the silent generation view work. And so a lot of leaders are really trying to navigate, you know, how do I lead effectively? But also how do I lead in a way that meets people where they are in order to take them where I want them to go towards the vision of their company? And then also, too, how can I stop the bleeding in some cases with all of the change that is happening at such a rapid pace with the various policies and cutting of contracts and shifting priorities? And there are folks who are saying to me how to stop the bleeding. And I know that's pretty graphic, but it is in a way how these folks are feeling. So, one of the things I would say is those have been some of the biggest points for folks. And then also wanting to continue to develop themselves personally as leaders, that professional development. I don't think folks should ever put that on the back burner because it is so crucial to creating a thriving organization. Just like in an airplane. If you don't administer the oxygen mask on yourself first, you can't help other people. If you're suffocating yourself, yeah. So really just pouring into yourself, making sure you're taken care of as you take care of other folks.

Jess K 22:14

So you bring up that great question then. How do I stop the bleeding? How do I navigate this world where I am managing multiple generations of personalities? And being authentic. Right.

Rapid prompts: values, lessons, and leadership habits

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 22:30

Stop the bleeding by first getting folks on the same page. So getting them all in a room, whether that's having a retreat, whether it's a half day or a full-day retreat, or maybe even a two-day, depending on how big your organization is and how big the problem set is that you're dealing with. Because I will say this as leaders of organizations or companies, when you show that you prioritize your team development, workforce development, that really makes the employees that are part of your company feel seen and heard. And it makes, and it's just those micro actions, right? Which really are have a macro impact. It's saying, okay, y'all, we know we have some really important work to do, but we're gonna we're gonna dedicate at least one day or two days to really ensuring that our team is on the same page, that we are meeting eye to eye in order to, you know, go to the next level in our in our company, right? We can't do this siloed. We have to be all on the same page. Like I think of like a rowing team, right? When you see those folks in the water, they are in unison. And if one person is lagging behind, you know, whether it's the front, back, or middle, that costs the race. And so having that ability to get on the same page, have a retreat, have even maybe some training, bring in folks. We also do that at our company. We do, you know, tailored course design for you know companies, organizations to kind of meet the needs and the challenges that they're facing, getting those folks all together and then really finding some tangible practical strategies that they can walk away with.

Jess K 24:06

Like you just gave me so many things that you can't implement. So this season we added a new segment on here. Um, we ask a statement that we have with live prompts, meaning we'll start a comment and you get to end it. So, first one a value I refuse to compromise at work is my faith.

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 24:26

Yeah. And here's what it looks like in practice kindness, compassion, empathy. Those are words. And truth. A lesson I learned the hard way was You cannot jump into a task and think that everyone is just gonna follow behind you. You really have to consult with folks individually, get their buy-in, and then you know, go forward, run full speed ahead towards the task you're trying to accomplish. You know.

Claude F 24:56

So that's what you're doing, but by learning that, that's what you're doing with your team or with your clients now.

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 25:01

Yes, yeah, learned it firsthand. Because if not, they'll lag behind and they'll straggle or they'll resist it entirely.

Jess K 25:09

If you want to be known for blank, start doing blank consistently.

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 25:17

Okay, if you want to be known for being a people-centered leader, you have to meet people where they are, and that starts by having a basic conversation with them consistently over time.

Jess K 25:32

That brings it almost full circle with the balancing the line of understanding, compassion, empathy without oversharing.

Claude F 25:46

Let's put that in our you know, uh work area, you know, little quotes.

The 10-Second Visibility Check

Jess K 25:51

Yes, quotes to live by from Catherine. All right, Catherine. So we teased in the very upfront that we were gonna ask a big question. What's your quick 10-second visibility check to tell if something is authentic or oversharing before you say it in a meeting or posting it online?

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 26:12

I would say intent versus impact. Also, really the intention is really key. What is the intention behind this action and what's the impact that it's gonna have on the people around me or the people who are gonna look at it even a month from now?

Jess K 26:27

So helpful. Intention versus impact. And I'm gonna take the three seconds to think about that when I'm at work now. Yeah. I'm going to have to do that. Yeah.

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 26:37

Yes. And I would add emotional intelligence, right? People hold themselves, put their arm across their body. Those are forms of protection. Being mindful of those nonverbals because those nonverbals say a million more words that are not spoken.

Jess K 26:52

So, Catherine, what you working on right now.

Emotional Intelligence And Nonverbals

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 26:55

Yes. So for everyone who's listening at our company, Influence Leadership Lab Coaching and Consulting, we have a six-month coaching program. And what we're offering is a free complimentary, one-hour coaching call where folks can come in with a problem or issue set, and I will work with you in live time to, you know, navigate through that challenge that you're trying to figure out. And then if you decide that it was helpful, then we can decide, okay, maybe is six months of coaching, you know, the next step.

Jess K 27:27

That's amazing. I was gonna say, if this episode didn't help you, I think what we know what to do.

How to work with Kathryn + free call

Kathryn Booker-Veloz 27:36

Yes. And folks can sign up on my website. Click at the top right hand corner, schedule a call, and we can go from there. Yeah. And again, your website? So it's k a t-h R Y-N, the word executive.com.

Claude F 27:51

Perfect. And of course, we'll add them in our show notes. Uh, but thank you, Catherine.

Jess K 27:57

This was great. So, work besties, um, you know what to do. Contact Catherine, and we'll see you all next week. Next week. Thank you. Bye. Remember, whether you're swapping snacks in the break room, rescuing each other from endless meetings, or just sending that perfectly timed meme. Having a work bestie is like having your own personal hype squad.

Claude F 28:18

So keep lifting each other up, laughing through the chaos, and of course, thriving. Until next time, stay positive, stay productive, and don't forget to keep supporting each other.

Jess K 28:31

Work bestie.