Everyday Allyship At Work : Leading with Emotional Intelligence with Sandra Coker

What if allyship is not just one big brave moment — but something we practice every day?

In Episode 103 of Work Besties Who Podcast, Jess and Claude welcome Sandra Coker, founder and CEO of Human Power Solutions, for a conversation about everyday allyship, people-first leadership, mentorship, and the small workplace moments that help people feel seen, supported, and able to grow.

Sandra shares practical ways teams can build stronger connection, reduce workplace drama, and create cultures where people actually want to show up. From peer mentorship and emotional intelligence to intentional check-ins and her “Midday Momentum” ritual, Sandra reminds us that allyship is often found in the small actions we take every day.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What everyday allyship really looks like at work
• Why mentorship does not have to be formal to be powerful
• How mentors and mentees both grow from the relationship
• Why emotional intelligence is a real skill
• How communication styles can create or reduce workplace drama
• Why people-first leadership is not soft — it is strategic
• Simple ways to support, advocate for, and lift others at work

This conversation is a reminder that nobody grows alone. Sometimes allyship looks like giving credit, sharing context, checking in, offering help, or saying someone’s name in a room they are not in.

Share this episode with the work bestie, mentor, or everyday ally who has helped you rise.

Learn more from Sandra Coker and her company at Human Power Solutions, Find her book & podcast and on LinkedIn

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Work Besties! Theme Song Written by Ralph Lentini @therallyband

Transcript

Allyship Is A Daily Habit

Jess K 0:00

What if Allieship is not just one big brave moment? Maybe it is what we do every day. Today we're talking with Sandra Coker about people first leadership, mentorship, and the small workplace moments that either build trust or could break it. Because people remember how you make work feel. The end of this episode, we are answering how do we practice everyday alleyship at work in a way that actually helps all people rise.

Claude F 0:26

Because nobody grows alone. Hi, I'm Claude. And I'm Jess. We are corporate employees by day, entrepreneurs by night, and work besties for life.

Jess K 0:36

Join us as we explore how work besties lift each other up, laugh through the chaos, and thrive together in every industry. Work besties.

Sandra’s People First Leadership Story

Jess K 0:48

Sandra, you've built your work around helping organizations, putting people first, reducing that workplace drama and unlocking human potential. For anyone meeting you for the first time, can you share a little bit about your story and what led you to create the human power solutions?

Sandra Coker 1:05

Thank you so much for having me. It was such a pleasure to be with both of you. The energy has been wonderful so far in our conversations. So my story, I started off my career in hospitality way back in the day and really understood the value of employees and the people that are actually working with your clients and customers. So for me, the hostesses, the waitresses, the all the people that were doing all the work were really more important than the management staff, to be honest with you. And I've really carried that through that theme pretty much throughout my career, through the businesses that I've owned and the people that I've led over the

Breaking Silos With Intentional Connection

Sandra Coker 1:42

years.

Jess K 1:42

So from your perspective, Sandra, when people hear that phrase, everyday allyship, what does that mean?

Sandra Coker 1:50

I work in a lot of organizations and there's a lot of silos where people are kind of doing, I'm doing this and I'm doing this and I'm doing this, and no one really knows how what I do over here affects over here. Could be two steps away from me. And I really feel like the allyship piece is understanding what everyone does in the organization and being able to empathize with somebody's pressure that you may not see every day, but you could get a result of, or your pressure affects somebody else. So I think allyship really means to connect on that human level all across the organizations. Uh you know, I was working with a CPA firm and they had a bunch of cubicles, and we did a team building thing, and they were like, I've worked here for 20 years and I didn't even know that person.

Claude F 2:34

Oh my goodness.

Sandra Coker 2:35

That's a problem.

Claude F 2:36

You just answered how organization or companies can have this communication and have, you know, to make sure that everybody knows each other's through some uh activities. What else do you think people can or you know, managers or even I mean organization can?

Sandra Coker 2:54

I think a lot of times it's kind of organizing. You know, if you're in office, it is organizing lunches, it's it's caring people up outside of the departments. My daughter works for a very large financial firm, and that company really encourages the younger professionals to get out and meet people in other departments and and kind of create some mentorship along that way. And she's been with this company for about three years, just landed a big promotion from someone she met early in her career that was a mentor to her. So I think it's really important for people to understand get out of your box. And if your leaders aren't encouraging that, get out of the company. No, I'm just kidding. But totally. Yeah. So that's really, I think, really what people need to do. And virtual-wise, we actually just started. I have a I have a global team and they're ever they're all over the world. We're all on different time zones, but we we pretty much work in the same kind of hours. And we just established a cubicle channel. Basically, what it is is when you're working and you don't, and it's interruptible work, it's something that you can work on and have conversations. You can go into this team channel called cubicles, and your team members could be in there. So you have a little bit of chit-chat, and you can go on mute when you need to do some work, but you can come off mute and have a little conversation. And we've been doing this for about two weeks, and I can already feel my team really coming together and having these really cool conversations that aren't even really work related, which I love.

Claude F 4:19

So that is awesome.

Sandra Coker 4:21

That's such a good idea. I popped in yesterday, and they're and two of the guys love cricket. And they're like, What are you guys talking about? They're like, cricket, and I'm like, what's that? It's really pretty cool. You can feel the alleyship is let's let's create that bond that we might be missing.

Jess K 4:36

That safe space that it's okay to connect.

Claude F 4:39

So you you said if the organization doesn't do that, doesn't promote that, what can an individual start doing and some little element to to go after this allyship?

Sandra Coker 4:50

Just being human and connecting with people when you come in at the time clock, at the break room. If you're on Teams and you're virtual, there are a lot of nuances these days. But you know, maybe connecting with someone in your company through LinkedIn and saying, hey, you know, we work at the same company and can we have a virtual coffee? Or I'd like to get to know you, I'd like to get to know more people in the organization. I mean, individuals, we have so many ways to reach out now outside of the old norm that there's a lot of ways that people individually can reach out and start connecting and kind of creating that that excitement and that allyship.

Ownership And Metrics That Matter

Jess K 5:25

From your perspective, do you feel um alleyship is really the responsibility from the leader or from the whole organization or a combination?

Sandra Coker 5:35

That's a good question, Jess. I would love to say it starts with the leaders, but honestly, we don't have the best leaders right now. There's they're under a lot of pressure, they're they're trying to get through the day, the technology overwhelm is real. So I think at this point, it really is is on the individual and hoping that the culture and the the hoping that the leader has formed that culture, but the leader's not gonna say the leader's not gonna direct that. They can direct the culture and what they want, but I think the individual really has to take responsibility for themselves.

Claude F 6:06

So actually, we we know that you know there are KPIs and everything, and they all look at it like the leaders. Is there some KPIs, some OIs that we see that, you know, if you have those people really engaging and communication, that it really helps the company bottom line?

Sandra Coker 6:23

It's your retent your retention, your onboarding, the speed to which which they come up to their job. So your onboarding is really important and getting people up to speed. If you have that culture of alleyship, someone that's new that's struggling, a person's gonna come over and say, Let me help you with that, versus a company that doesn't have that alleyship, they're gonna watch that person struggle and do their own thing. So it's the upskilling piece and it's the retention piece. And if you look at the overall employee engagement and um and the attrition, those are the numbers that you can look at. And once the attrition starts to go down and you start to having that well-oiled machine, you've achieved what you want.

Mentorship That Grows Both Sides

Jess K 7:01

Sandra, you touched already on the example of your daughter and mentorships. Our theme this month is around mentorship as well as Allieship. In your experience, do you feel mentorships has to be formal to be powerful?

Sandra Coker 7:15

No, I don't. I don't think you have to say, Will you be my mentor? I think you need to create an atmosphere that where you want to learn and where someone is willing to give you their knowledge, but also they're gonna learn from you as well. I think throughout my career, I've had some, I just even now I've I have three mentors now as I'm scaling my business. I've never scaled a business before. So um I've connected with people who have done what I'm looking to do. And I think if you're looking to scale or grow in your career and lift yourself up, it's finding those people that are that are where you want to be and connecting with them on LinkedIn, on Teams, and and asking, would you be my mentor? They're not a coach, they're they're gonna get as much from you as you're gonna get from them. So that person understands that, I think is is very, very valuable.

Claude F 8:07

Hold on. You say that the mentor will get as much, what would they get the mentors? Because we always we always hear, oh, you know, it's the mentee that get the things and never on the mentor, you know.

Sandra Coker 8:20

Yeah, I mean, I'm I'm a big believer there's coaching where you know you're telling someone what to do, you're side by side, and you're kind of doing the direction. I I I look at mentorship as being a two-way street, where if I'm mentoring, I you know, I mentor a lot of uh young business women and I really learn about the struggles, what's going on. It's been a while since I've been a new business owner, so I'm kind of jaded. So I guess you could say. So it kind of helps me to kind of bring me back to when I was struggling and and what things and and the mistakes that I made in helping them to learn from that. But also like they they can teach you things on resiliency or what they're doing on the new market. And there's so much change going on right now that I think as a mentor, you've got to be open to someone's gonna bring you an idea and you're gonna be like, that's a great idea. I I love that idea, you know. So that's so I think you've got to be open for both. If you're gonna be a mentor but not want to learn, then then you're a coach. Yeah.

Jess K 9:21

I do think having a mentor outside of the company you're in is awesome. Uh we found from our experience in the podcasting space, some of the best ways to find some type either mentorship to bounce those ideas off of are those Facebook communities, as well as attending conferences when you really find those like-minded individuals that will have the real life experience to really walk you through things in a different way.

Sandra Coker 9:47

Yeah. And I and when I look for a mentor at this point, I'm looking for someone who's above, like has done what I'm looking to do. Yeah. Not not at my level. And I think that's something that people often don't. They they play in their same circle and they all stay in this circle, you know?

Jess K 10:03

Yeah. Try and have somebody where you might have some type of ability to help influence them in a different way, but then you can attain something. So from a mentorship perspective, I sounds like a little bit more of what your perspective, Cloud, was like, how do you when you are like on the flip side, when you are now the mentor of people? Because we also have those on our community that are more in the middle management persona, when you are reached out from somebody to be a mentor, how do you help them without it turning into the coaching or the micromanagement aspect?

Sandra Coker 10:36

Yeah, I I ask them what they're looking to get out of it, how much work they're willing to put into the relationship if they're committed to meeting, you know, on a regular basis. So it's not a kind of an ad hoc thing. I'm very pretty structured in where I spend my time. And the other thing is I I ask them what they've done before and what kind of initiative they've taken to get to where they are today. And that helps me to kind of vet if someone is looking for a coach, because that's sometimes they don't know what they're looking for. So if someone's like, oh no, I tried this and this and this and I do this and I do that, and they're pretty innovative, then they're going to be a great person for mentorship because they they're a self-starter. If someone's like, well, I don't really, I'm really not sure, uh, then they're they're looking for, which is fine, but I wouldn't be the right fit for that.

Claude F 11:27

So you said earlier the difference, one of the difference between mentorship and coach is mentor, mentorship is the mentor should also learn something. Is there any other difference between a coach and a mentor?

Sandra Coker 11:45

I think there's really for a mentor, um there's there's really no end date. So with coaching, there's you know, a six month or a 12-month or something like that. Um but I think if you're if you if you're always adding value to each other, uh, then there there is no end date for that. So there's and there's no structured program, you know, it's it's bouncing ideas, it's it's innovating and things like that. One of my mentors, I when I first started this business six and a half years ago, um, I met my one of my mentors now, um, you know, right at the beginning. And he's been with me all the way through. I don't talk to him all the time. We met regularly when I when I first got started, I was I was ramping up. And and now we meet probably once a month or so. And conversations. Yeah, yeah. And and and he's always and he calls me for my opinion on stuff. He's like, what do you think about this? So it's a it's a cool relationship.

Claude F 12:40

Yeah. So I think the end date. And you can see that from what you're saying is that actually the relationship will change, might change over time, where it becomes, and that's where my question next comes, it becomes almost more a peer mentorship than before senior mentorship. So explain to us how important also is a peer mentorship.

Sandra Coker 13:02

I think the peer mentorship is very important because we all come into work with a very different lens, and we all come in with a very like with different personal situations. So I might think about something or experience something in one way, and someone else might be in the same meeting and experience it completely different because of the lens in which we're here. So I think having these open conversations and being able to say, that was my experience, and that was my experience, and talk about and having those conversations around those experiences. It helps people to kind of take the drama out of life, you know, and out of the whole thing, where you can kind of, I'm always I'm a facts versus feelings kind of girl. So, you know, sometimes people go in and they'll experience a meeting that might be heated or having tension and they feel feeling destroyed, like they just attacked me. And someone else is gonna have that same, you know, that same meeting with that tension and be like, oh, this is just a really difficult situation, right? And they're gonna come out with the facts. So if if if the peer can say, uh actually they weren't attacking you, here's just the situation and the facts. So I think having those kinds of conversations is just big.

Claude F 14:14

That's I I love that. That's a great way of you know seeing that.

Reducing Drama With EQ And Facts

Jess K 14:19

Yeah, it kind of touches on one of the things that uh attracted me to to chat with you, Sandra, too. Is I saw one of the areas that you do focus on is reducing drama in workplace environments. Yep. And you kind of just gave a great example of how to leverage your peer or even maybe your work bestie. Yes. To help with that. What does create the most drama inside teams from your lack of communication?

Sandra Coker 14:44

Communication.

Jess K 14:46

Yeah.

Sandra Coker 14:47

I'm working with a team right now, and I'm just completing one-to-ones with 10 people, and they're all on the same team. And they're it's they're just they're fractured. Uh, and it's because of their different communication styles, they're coming from different backgrounds, uh, they all communicate differently. Some people get offended, other people like, you know, buckle up buttercup. And so, you know, and so we're, you know, we're I'm doing all these individual things to bring everyone together for four hours to be to have a very honest conversation. Like we have different generations in the workplace. People do experience things differently. Our Gen Zs are not our Gen X's. I'm a buckle up buttercup kind of girl, but I know that not everyone's gonna do that. Yeah. I've got a couple of Gen Z's. I I tiptoe around them. Yeah. So that's really what it is. Is it's just kind of understand that people communicate differently. And just because someone might be abrupt, it just means that they got a lot going on and it's not necessarily directed at you. So let's just take the feelings out of it and and stick to the facts. You can still be friends and coworkers and colleagues, but you know, that drama is just there's just no there's no reason for it, honestly.

Jess K 15:59

So, Sandra, in that perspective, so to your point, there are different expectations of how to communicate and engage. How do you help coach when there is such a variety of different personality traits to ensure healthy conflict versus unhealthy?

Sandra Coker 16:17

Yeah, at first it's it's kind of calling out the communication styles and having people understand where people are coming from. One of the exercises I absolutely love to do, and and then I'm gonna do it with this team, so don't tell them because it's at the you know, you know, it's coming up, but it's your first job. It's your job journey. And so it's so interesting when you start with your first job, like everyone writes down with the first job and they do their career subsequently. Nine times out of ten, people were dishwashers, waitresses, like they all have that same kind of first job kind of thing. And it and we talk about how each job and the managers of each job kind of shaped how they how they lead. And we start talking about those kinds of things. And it's it's it just starts to break down some of those barriers and it gives them some common ground. Or they're like, I had the boss like that too. And you know, it just opens up that conversation, and and that's really all we're trying to do is break down those barriers and get them to, you know, I'm a human being, you're a human being.

Jess K 17:19

Yeah, yeah, I was gonna say it's like creating that safe safety or safe environment for people to realize everybody's got different perspectives, but at the same time, we've all dealt with the same thing. From a communication standpoint, knowing that everybody does have these different communication styles, how can somebody who is direct still be their authentic selves without damaging or causing maybe conflict within the the rest of the group?

Sandra Coker 17:49

You've got to have a lot of self-awareness that EQ um isn't a soft skill, it's a real skill that you really need to learn. And it's when we're communicating with each other, it's not really about how we want to communicate, it's how it's gonna be received. Received. And that's the that's the bottom line. So even someone that's abrupt, I I can be pretty abrupt. I check myself a lot. Like, who am I talking to? Do I need to take a beat and a breath and come out with whatever it is that I need to come out with, still conveying my message, but without the, you know, whereas I've got one team member who's just as abrupt as I am, and it's just like boom, boom, and we're done. We don't have any, there's no drama. But it just you've got to be self-aware, and it's not about you, it's the person receiving it. So you've got to have a little bit of empathy when it comes to that person that you're speaking to.

Jess K 18:38

You do, Sandra, a lot of work with creating those spaces and explaining how to create those safe spaces, especially from the leading first. Talking about leadership. Do you find as you're providing feedback on this one, are there certain things that are consistently coming up that you have to help re-emphasize or coach people through?

Sandra Coker 19:05

I think a lot of it's is what we just talked about on the empathy and the emotional intelligence or social awareness, um, really understanding how to read the room and how to take that step back and take the temperature down and focusing on um on the facts and just again not trying to get wrapped up in all the all the stuff. I think the emotions at work come from the outside, you know, whatever going on in the world, what's ever going on in your world, or a lack of confidence. So that's those are things that I that I think people need to be a little bit more empathetic towards. Yeah.

Bias In Leadership And Better Allies

Jess K 19:40

And then one of the things we wanted to kind of highlight or talk about is while we are starting to see more diversification, gender, ethnicity, all of that in leadership roles, it is still in many industries primarily males. Where or what can what do you think is holding back those other gender ethnicities from really fully stepping into leadership?

Sandra Coker 20:06

I think a lot of people don't want the responsibility of other people. You know, honestly, I I I think COVID really, really chopped some women off at the knees where they had to return home and, you know, take on that role. So that's but that's been really hard for for some women to recover from that. As far as the other genders and ethnicities and things like that, I think there's still a little bias. I mean, it's just call a spade a spade. You know, sometimes they're might may not speak up, or if they have an accent, someone might treat them poorly. There's so many, there's so many variables for that. I don't think we're there yet. I think it's too bad that we're not there yet. Part of the reason why I went out on my own, because I'm like, I don't want to deal with that. And I'm not, I'm not promoting that for everybody. But, you know, I think that if you have that allyship, if you start to build that allyship, people will start to rise because people are gonna be together more. If we're still in those silos, there's not gonna be that support for so-and-so should be promoted into this role because everyone's just gonna be sitting in their silos.

Jess K 21:12

So allyship and the support of each other is still the most important in the way to really bring that to life.

Sandra Coker 21:19

I was interviewing someone yesterday, and you know, one of the managers or the I'll call it a manager, not a leader. Um, and there's a definite difference. So this manager, you know, very unapproachable, and and you know, I young, this was a young professional, and I said, Are you comfortable, you know, kind of calling out that behavior? And she's just like, no, it's not that type of person. And I could feel it. I could feel the fact that she was afraid, you know, of of what that pushback would be. And I whatever gender, whatever, wherever you are, you you've just got to be kind of unafraid, not a jerk, but just unafraid to be like, that's not okay, how you spoke to me, or this is how that affected me as leaders and as mentors. We've really got to help to coach, to coach that up. Yes.

Jess K 22:03

We are predominantly a woman, a community. How can those senior women be those better allies to these other women out there who are coming up behind us and to your point are saying, like, I just don't want the headache of being a leader.

Sandra Coker 22:18

Can I be honest? I think so many women try to hold other women down. So I think first we have to be better as women to not look at other people who are maybe smarter than us or have different ideas. And we've got to be very careful not to crush their their spirit. We got to do better a better job of that. If you are one of those women that does lift people up and gives a hand up, it's taking someone under under your wing. And if you're in a meeting with them and you know that they want to say something they don't, after that meeting, have a coffee and talk through the scenario and then do a little bit of coaching for the next time. So I think that's really important. We just have to take a little bit of time.

Jess K 22:55

More of the one-on-one or more okay, that's now you notice something and you're like, do you know what?

Sandra Coker 23:01

Let's grab some coffee. And then it's like, hey, I noticed this at the meeting, and we've had a conversation before about this frustration. And I'm just wondering, you know, what held you back? And and having that conversation, and then just doing a little bit of coaching there. So that does a couple of things for the for that professional. It helps them feel seen and like and that somebody cared enough to take a half an hour, 45 minutes out of their day to help them. Yeah.

Claude F 23:28

And I'm sure it can be also have a ripple effect, right? Because then they say someone did that for me, let me give back. And then it becomes this group and this allyship, really. Absolutely.

Sandra Coker 23:42

Yeah. And and it's not just for women. I mean, men feel it. I mean, they feel it too. And especially our young leaders coming up, our young men coming up. There's there's a big transition there for them. So they're trying to be empathetic. They're, they've got the work-life balancing down, and um they're trying to get ahead. And but they also see um my generation of not so nice bosses, and they don't want to be that. So there's so we've got to make sure that we're coaching up our young men as well.

Jess K 24:10

So, Sandra, you do a lot of work around learning and development.

Development That Sticks For Leaders

Jess K 24:15

From your point of view, what really makes that development stick?

Sandra Coker 24:20

Another really good question. So, my philosophy, so a lot of a lot of times company will do training. And my philosophy is, you know, we train dogs, you develop people. So, um, so you can do a one-hit wonder of a training, and that's not gonna stick. We can do an eight-hour thing and it's just whatever. The development has got to be ongoing. So when we do any kind of professional development program, it is an ongoing program. It's a it's a series. If we're doing an emerging leader series, it'll be a six-week series. So that way people can learn a skill, try it out, come back, how'd it go? Here's another one. And it just they build upon each other versus being, so this it's transformational versus transactional. So I get calls all the time, hey, can you do a one-day retreat for us? And and I always say, we're we're just not a one-hit wonder. If that's it's a if that's a kickoff to something more long-term that you want to build, great. But I think people have really got to think about L and D as an ongoing, it's not an expense. It is uh it is a it is a way to retain, attract, and just build your profitability if you're if you're investing in your people.

Jess K 25:28

You you hit on something I was gonna ask you, and since you talked about emerging leaders, what's that one skill emerging leaders should be developing right now?

Sandra Coker 25:37

Emotional intelligence. How to read the room. And here's why. Because what we're doing is we're being, we're promoting people like, oh, you're so good at XYZ, you should be the next manager. And you get to that role, and they have no clue how to deal with people.

Jess K 25:54

It's never you're good at reading the room, it's you're good at this this task, right?

Sandra Coker 25:59

Yeah. We really we really need to make sure that our our emerging leader program is a hybrid, so it's e-learn live workshops, and it's bud to boss, emotional intelligence, difficult conversations. So you've got to kind of teach them all of these, all of these things prior to getting them up there. And and I always say to people, don't promote the most talented person. A, you need them in that spot. You want to promote the person that can motivate others the best to teach everything else. But if they're a good fit and they can be a good leader, they don't have to. I mean, I don't know everything in my company and we're thriving, you know, and there's people that know a lot more than I do. That's some that's another mistake that the companies make.

Claude F 26:35

But can you teach emotional intelligence?

Sandra Coker 26:38

Isn't something that is inside you? There's lots of courses on EQ. Um, and yeah, so so is it harder for some than others? Uh-huh. Absolutely. Those abrupt people, it's like it's hard, but it is a skill that you absolutely can learn. Um, it does take a little bit of time, it does take a little bit of investment in yourself. But yep, those four quadrants on EQ, absolutely, it's a learned skill. Yeah. Yeah.

Claude F 27:03

What what are you doing?

Jess K 27:04

Now I'm laughing because I'm like, what why do you think it's not? Like, what do you think about it?

Claude F 27:08

Because I I think Because emotional I mean for me, I thought that you're you're born with it. Like you have some people that don't have this emotional intelligence, it's just they don't have it. Like they don't think about other people, they don't put themselves in other people. They're good at other things, but they are they don't have that emotional intelligence.

Jess K 27:38

Okay. I mean some of them. We're all born with not knowing math and how to read it.

Claude F 27:43

So like you can But yes, but for me, math is facts, right? One plus one is called two. Emotional intelligence is more okay.

Sandra Coker 27:55

I'm gonna challenge I'm gonna challenge you, Claude, because that's perfect. But that's what it's always been challenging. So you have to do that.

Claude F 28:02

I love that. I totally love that. That's what we have conversation.

Sandra Coker 28:06

Yeah, yeah. So let me become your best, your work bestie. Um, there's empathy that people, it's hard, you can't really teach empathy. Yeah, that is that's that that's that part of you that you know will reach out to care for somebody. When it comes to emotional intelligence, there's a four quadrant skill that if you if you want to, you can learn it. But you have to have the desire to want to. So there'll be some people that are like, I'm not gonna learn that. I don't care. Yeah, you're right. You're not gonna be able to upskill them. But if someone's if someone comes to you and says, you know what, I know that I'm not coming across well, I know that I'm not doing what I need to do, and that I've got a huge amount of turnover and it's and it's on me, I don't know what to do, they can learn EQ. And there's lots of courses out there to do that.

Claude F 28:55

So I might be mixing empathy with emotional intelligence. So you said the four quadrants. What are those?

Sandra Coker 29:03

The four quadrants are the self-awareness, where you understand who you are and and how you are. I'm not a very empathetic person. I understand that about myself. Self-management. When you're in a situation, hey, I have a hot temper, I pop off pretty quickly, I know that. I know how to manage that emotion and those triggers that come to me. That's the second quadrant. Social awareness, I can read the room. I know I understand where there's tension coming, I can see when someone looks frustrated, and I'm gonna work on learning how to read other people before I react to other people. And then that relational relationship management is the fourth quadrant. And that's where you know you focus on how much I am relating to those. It's it's definitely skills that you can learn.

Claude F 29:50

Yeah, so I was totally mixing empathy with emotional intelligence.

Jess K 29:56

We teased to this question in the very beginning.

Everyday Allyship Playbook And Goodbye

Jess K 29:59

Your perspective. How do we practice everyday alleyship at work?

Sandra Coker 30:05

Especially thinking about I really think that peer-to-peer we can spend a little bit more time getting to know people that we don't know and touching base with people and understanding. I think in this day and age, understand that people are going through a lot personally, and the world is tip difficult right now. So just providing a a fri a friendly hand, a smile. Um, and if you're a virtual team, doing some touch bases, just do it a quick quick check-in on Teams or or Slack or whatever it is that you use, but um, just doing some reach out and and also I think the other thing is everybody has their job. But if you're able to help somebody out outside of your work, outside of your daily thing, and you've got a little bit of time, offer it.

Jess K 30:54

Yeah. My big takeaway from this one is carving out time weekly to make sure that I'm having those connects connects with individuals across all the different areas of my life, as far as that. I think that's so smart. It's something we always like quickly put to the side and say, like, I don't have time, but it is so important.

Claude F 31:14

Yeah.

Jess K 31:14

Unbelievable.

Sandra Coker 31:15

And doing it with intention. We we have a midday momentum. So every day at three o'clock, um, three to three fifteen, we just pop on the channel because we're like I said, we're global. So we pop on the channel every single day. How's your day going? What's going on? Do you need help with anything? It just reduces the bottleneck and reduces any friction um building up throughout the week. So I think there's a lot of things that people can do. They just got to do it with the really cute idea. Three days every day. Three to three fifteen. Everyone's on Teams. That's so cool. We have a core channel where we're all on, and someone initiates the call, everybody pops on. And we we solve a lot of issues that way too. Because someone could be stuck some on something, they're like, I need access to this, and it's quickly done. So it just reduces friction that builds up through the week. That's a really smart idea.

Claude F 32:00

And that shows again, again, this group and this allyship make it even stronger.

Sandra Coker 32:05

They know each other, they do, and they care about each other, and they all want to like me as a CEO. I'm I'm sharing my vision, I'm I'm sharing my adventure, like the stuff that I'm doing. And so they know me really well, and but they also understand like where the vision is for the company, and they all work together to get there. So if if someone's proofreading something and it's not correct, they don't take offense when that person is like, this isn't right, this isn't there's no offense taken. It's like everyone knows that we're all we're all shooting for the same thing. So it's really good.

Jess K 32:34

That last example reminds us that Allieship is really not the big, huge gestures, it's the small things that matter. And the communication, like keeping people connected, making sure they're aware of the company's overarching themes, what we want to work is work for. It seems so simple to say it, but just to be reminded of it. So I appreciate it.

Claude F 32:54

And and what I've really loved about your vision is the emotional um intelligence, intelligence, being there, listening to people and helping each other. And at the end, it's like uh people are going to uh to be proud to really work in a place like that.

Jess K 33:15

So work besties out there. We hope you liked this episode. Please share amongst your friends, share back with us what you liked, what you're working on, any other tips that you may have. And we do encourage you to branch outside of your work besties and create other peer mentors and really help this small momentum grow. But with that, keep supporting each other. Bye. Thank you. Remember, whether you're swapping snacks in the break room, rescuing each other from endless meetings, or just sending that perfectly timed meme. Having a work bestie is like having your own personal hype squad.

Claude F 33:56

So keep lifting each other up, laughing through the chaos, and of course, thriving. Until next time, stay positive, stay productive, and don't forget to keep supporting each other. Work besties!