Vacation Wont Fix Burnout

One of us went to Greece and completely disconnected from work. The other planned a relaxing beach vacation—and got shingles instead.

In this honest and unexpectedly funny conversation, Jess and Claude explore the difference between choosing to rest and being forced to stop. Claude shares how she prepares her team so she can take a real vacation without checking emails, while Jess opens up about ignoring the warning signs of burnout until her body made rest nonnegotiable.

We talk about:

• Why saving all your rest for vacation does not work
• How to truly disconnect from work without guilt
• The burnout warning signs Jess missed
• Why losing interest in the things you love matters
• How small daily resets can protect your energy
• What work besties can notice before we notice it ourselves
• The Stop, Restart and Ask summer reset challenge

This is not about completely reinventing your life. It is about listening sooner, asking for support and making next week feel even 10% lighter.

Because rest works better before you hit the wall—but hitting the wall does not mean you failed.

Send this episode to the work bestie who has been saying, “I just need to get through this week,” for the last six weeks.

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Work Besties! Theme Song Written by Ralph Lentini @therallyband

Transcript

Summer Reset And Burnout Truths

Jess K 0:00

One of us went to Greece and did not contact work once.

Claude F 0:03

One of us planned a beach vacation and got jingles instead.

Jess K 0:08

That's exactly the summer reset I had imagined.

Claude F 0:11

So today we are talking honestly about burnout, stress, and the difference between choosing to rest and being forced to stop.

Jess K 0:19

We are sharing what worked, what went wrong, and what we are doing differently now.

Claude F 0:25

Because a summer reset does not have to be a complete reinvention.

Jess K 0:29

Sometimes it's just learning to listen sooner.

Claude F 0:32

Hi, I'm Claude.

Jess K 0:33

And I'm Jess.

Claude F 0:34

We are corporate employees by day, entrepreneurs by night, and work besties for life.

Jess K 0:41

Join us as we explore how work besties lift each other up, laugh through the chaos, and thrive together in every industry. Work besties!

Greece And A Real Work Disconnect

Jess K 0:52

So we both went into the summer knowing what we wanted, some sort of break, right? Yeah. And we each had different plans. So I had Greek. Greece planned. And I had planned to go and spend some time with my family in Myrtle Beach. Only one of these vacations actually happened.

Claude F 1:10

So I guess we're going to talk about Greece. So I was able to go to Greece. Yes. And this is something that really, really helped because I was able to completely disconnect. And I did not check in with work at all. And I didn't have like those Hajida, you know, like you're you're having a panic aside. Oh my god, oh my God. No. No emails, no messages. And I didn't even check because I knew my team had my phone number in case they needed me.

Jess K 1:51

Right. And I feel like that sounds simple. And so many of us want to go on vacation while continuing to supervise during our own absence, but it's definitely not the most healthy.

Claude F 2:03

And it also gave a bad example to your team as well. Because then they're going to think that they are expected also to check in. To check in. And I have to say it's it's the third year that I'm doing that. Before that, I was always working, always checking and never disconnecting. And I have to say that it makes such a big difference. It's incredible. I came back even last week. So let's talk about the pre before the post.

The Handoff Plan That Makes Rest Possible

Jess K 2:35

Well, the pre is not the pre part. No, no, but so what did but that's important to know. So what did you do? So you said starting about three years ago, what did you start doing before you leave that helps you with the disconnecting?

Claude F 2:49

So I I want everything done. And I write uh to my team uh while I'm away uh Word document, and I'm putting where we are at, why I'm at on my project, what they need to follow up, if they could, um, going over also what they need and for me to give them everything before. So when do you start that?

Jess K 3:17

Like the week before, two weeks before, two weeks before.

Claude F 3:21

Yeah, I start two weeks before. That's so smart. Yeah, and I have uh my Word document that is always on. So each time I'm thinking of something, I'll put it in. Okay. So that I don't have to to rethink. Right.

Jess K 3:35

So you don't do it like all in one shot. You take like the two weeks before and start plotting it, but then as you're going, continue. And I assume then you start sharing that with your team.

Claude F 3:48

Oh yeah, that week. Okay. Exactly. And then start to put them on emails. Okay. If they have to follow up, for example, someone had to follow up. I was sending email, I was CCing them. I love that. I was doing also recaps with some of my accounts. Same thing, started to CC them so that they were fully aware of what's going on. I was feeling better because I had done more or less nothing had to be urgently had to be done. And even if it did, they were aware of around so they knew I love that. That's so smart. And then that was it. And then they had my phone number on the out of office if they need it, and they didn't need me. That's amazing. So I'm going to take another vacation at the end of August. Right now.

Jess K 4:35

Ta-ta! Okay, so then let's talk about you're on the vacation. Were you tempted at all to check in?

Claude F 4:44

Uh from time to time, it depends. But we were so busy, we always had something, and where we were was so beautiful that I was forgetting it.

Jess K 4:55

That's amazing. That's what you're supposed to do.

Claude F 4:57

Exactly. And also, again, it's the third year I'm doing that. The first year was extremely hard to disconnect because I'm like, oh my god, I'm going to be fired.

Jess K 5:06

I'm going to be like, I probably felt awkward in your body because you had my body was exactly right. So exactly.

Claude F 5:13

So the second year I was getting better. And then this year I was like, it's great. Oh, I'm sorry. And I came back, I was so relaxed. Relaxed.

Jess K 5:24

And do you feel like your vacation, your energy and your vacation's different too, or no? The what? Your energy on your vacation. Do you feel like I don't work?

Claude F 5:33

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely. And I don't, and I don't feel guilty. Because before I was still working and then I wasn't working on vacation, and then I feel guilty.

Jess K 5:45

Okay.

Claude F 5:45

There, didn't feel guilty. So your energy shifted. My energy shift. It was all about having fun, visiting. And do you feel like eating?

Jess K 5:56

That's those are all the good things of life. Drinking, eating. So your energy is shifted while you're on the vacation.

Claude F 6:03

Yeah, more relaxed. More relaxed.

Jess K 6:05

What about when you come home?

Claude F 6:06

When I came home, same thing. More relaxed? More relaxed. Oh, I love that. Oh, I came back. Oh yeah, last week. Oh my goodness. I don't know how long it's going to last, but I was like, okay, we'll figure out. That's amazing. Everything is fine. Because again, you can't. That's a great example. Yeah, because again, your body was I was able to relax, to really not think about work.

Jess K 6:32

Okay, well then how about I ask you this? So your vacation person, Claude in Greece. What version of that do you want to keep consistently now that you're back at work?

Claude F 6:42

Being relaxed, not being stressed out. Okay. Most of the time.

Jess K 6:47

Okay.

Claude F 6:48

I mean, I would love is to keep the cloth from Greece. Where I could go like four minutes in and um swim in the Mediterranean Sea. So in the middle? In the middle of every at every meeting, you can't. I say sorry for four minutes and I'm going and I'll go swim. I mean, that's fair. No, but that that's really twas it made a big difference. It

When Burnout Turns Into Shingles

Claude F 7:14

sounds like it.

Jess K 7:14

I mean, I feel like your experience was very different. So how was your vacation? So, yes, as you know, I had planned to have a lovely family vacation in uh Myrtle Beach. But leading up to that, I had a lot of activities going on. I moved, which Faron who knows, moving is stressful to begin with. Well you work too. While working, and I hadn't moved in the past 10 plus years, so there was just a lot of stuff that we had to move. Um, and yeah, work has been a little extreme nutty. So there's just a lot going on at once to the point where I did the opposite of what we had been preaching this month, which is the prevention of burnout. I let myself burn out. Then I developed shingles. So for anyone out there who has shingles, I'm so sorry. It is not a fun virus to deal with. It does hurt. It's the nerve elements that hurt more. Shooting pains constantly happening in your head. It was in my ears, behind my eyes. Anyway, so it was the opposite of vacation. Sorry. Whatever. It's good that I can laugh about it. However, it was a recovery. I mean, a forced one. And I had to I had to confront it because I was just officially out. There was just no part of me left that could survive. I was out, done. Um and you were able to not work. I I physically couldn't. Couldn't yeah. Like, so there was no, let me just pop on for a couple seconds and figure something out. No, I mean the shingles had my my eyes like where I couldn't, I couldn't handle sensitivity of light, so the computer screen wasn't quite.

Claude F 9:10

I couldn't either, the eyes from the sun.

Jess K 9:16

From the great. I'm so sorry. Yeah, so I mean, yes, listen, I was also not in the greatest head space and as well as physically. So I think it it forced me to to reassess and take a step back. And honestly, I re-listened to a lot of our podcasts. Because I was like, how did I let myself get to this? Listening to these amazing individuals who are providing us all these absolutely positive ways to prevent it. And and then I just slam into a wall with it. So yeah, I think it was definitely a learning curve for me in a very different way.

Claude F 9:58

So before the shingles. Yeah. The weeks before, did you feel like something was happening was brewing, or 'twas just the shingles.

Jess K 10:07

It's funny, it's like it's like the hindsight's 2020. I looking back at it, it was so achy. Um, I had this horrible pain in the back of my head, and I thought during the move that I must have like whacked my head on something, and I just thought that's what the pain was from. I just remember like having to like constantly rub the back of my head because it hurt so bad. And I put two and two together. Let me work some more. No, hold on, no, it gets even worse because then, like every who's had people who've had shingles, you know, it appears on your body as rashes. And I had a horrible one. You can still see little remnants of it under this chin right here and all down my neck. And I was convinced I had worn a new necklace that it was from the necklace because I was doing this with the necklace. So I just did not put two and two together, and then they started appearing more on my face and around my eyes, and then I was like, Yeah, that's that's not the necklace. So you went to the next one. So then I finally went and saw a doctor and was like, I don't know what is growing on my face, please help me. And they were like, Oh yeah, that's that's shingles. So yeah, there definitely was warning signs.

Claude F 11:21

I think that obviously that was So you see again the ying and the yang. Choose wisely. Are you going to stress out to the point that you're going to get shingle? Or are you going to take your vacation, relax, and be able to do your little like I know, um bagalaya? And you know what I did? I did exactly what they said not to do.

Jess K 11:46

Everybody should plot a vacation on your schedule because it helps you have an afterward or something to look forward to, which is what I did. But I kept thinking in the back of my head, like you just keep going because you've got vacation coming up. Just keep going, just keep going. And they always tell you don't do that because like the vacation. Don't just keep you can get through this. Like, don't worry, don't keep your head down. Like, yes, your head is in pain, your face is bullshit. Or I just thought just keep going. But just keep going. Vacation's coming soon. That's exactly what I did. I literally went to the doctor to the EMT like the first day of my vacation.

Claude F 12:26

So, how did you feel like psychologically when you actually canceled your vacation?

Jess K 12:34

So much worse. It actually made me worse. This is the most uplifting podcast we've ever had. So sorry, everyone. Uh no, I did feel worse. I will be honest. So I like I love my family. I wanted to see my family, and I felt really horrible because my daughter really was looking forward to this trip, too. So it was stressful. I think the thing that kept me going through it, though, is obviously I couldn't send my daughter without me. So she was with me. And so I did have some fun. Like I was able to do silly stuff with her. I think at the end of the week, it got me regrounded in what's important. Like, how did you get yourself here? You let yourself go too far. You saw the warning signs, you knew you needed help. Why didn't you reach out for help? Here's when you should be doing this. All the things that we preach to other people, I am now taking stock in and saying, okay, act what you preach, do it. Um, so I was sad at the time, and now I'm not sad because I think it's it's the wake-up call I needed. Right? Yeah. It could have been worse. So when is your next vacation? In August. Vacation was what I had looked forward to, so I still need something. So I just pushed back that time frame.

Claude F 13:50

And will you watch your emails? Oh no, I'm gonna do exactly what you were saying too. It is incredible not to check your emails. If you trust someone that will contact you if there is an issue, then you are like, that's fine, they don't hate me. Yeah.

Jess K 14:09

Which I mean, that's the whole reason for having a team, right? We're all supposed to be there to help support each other. And I think it'll help me get back to being that good person who has boundaries.

Claude F 14:20

And I think it makes also a big difference when you have your manager allow it. Yeah, yeah. Right? Because uh up to three years ago, I wasn't allowed like you were allowed. Like I w I remember one year I was in Greece and my son and my husband were playing in the water, was at the taverna and doing a presentation. So not only the stress of that and the stress of them yelling at me that I'm working on. Like, hey, we're on vacation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not worth it. So even you as a manager, please make sure that you give this opportunity to your team. Yeah, yeah. Because otherwise everyone deserves their vacation.

Jess K 15:03

So Claude rested before she completely ran out of energy. Well, clearly, as you saw for my example, I was counting on a vacation to repair everything. Too late. But I had already depleted myself.

Claude F 15:14

So make sure don't wait too late until you run out of juice to really do that.

Jess K 15:21

Right. Don't just make it about your vacations. You do have to set those micro moments, those mini resets to get yourself back to feeling who you are. Yeah. So um, I will say when I look back at the past couple of weeks or the past couple of months, I did accomplish a lot though. I still figured found out a way to move, and I've still got all my somewhat got all my job done. However, I have learned that there are tools and tactics that could help me in the future so that I would not get to the point where I'm stacking stress on top of stress on top of stress and top of stress.

Claude F 15:56

And I have to say, moving is so stressful. So it's like it was a perfect storm. Yeah. You know, I mean, I did that and it was horrible.

Jess K 16:06

Yeah, moving in and of itself, you're right, is just a stress. So I like timed everything maybe a little too.

Claude F 16:13

Well, sometimes, well, hold on. Sometimes you don't have a choice with the timing. It's just that that's what happens, you know?

Jess K 16:20

Great. I learned, I do have to raise my hand and say, okay, there's too much going on at my place. Hey Claude, can you help me with this? Hey, boss mag, can you help me with that? Like all those other things.

Claude F 16:31

Oh, totally. Um, and I will say, no, I'm on vacation. I have two weeks planned and you're not a part of it. I'm going to agree, sorry. Stay and have your changles.

Jess K 16:44

Sorry. Who needs anyone else in the world when you have this work best here?

Rebuilding Micro Habits That Reset You

Jess K 16:55

All right, so some of the other things that I will admit that I fell down and did not participate in doing, and you will be very shocked about this, is while I was in this wave of just a lot of other things on top of my normal stressful plate, like the move, planning for a vacation, all these things. Yes, and some of the stuff with work besties. I stopped exercising. I stopped journaling. I know. You did not one manifestation during that whole time period for me like two and a half months. I even I know, I even stopped reading. So I did all of the things that were my breaks or that helped reset me. And I that's why. I know. But I in my mind, it was like I only have so many hours of the day. I needed to plot on these other things. However, I have now, you know, again, taken stock, listened to some of our podcasts, learned. If I had just kept up, even if it was five or ten minutes a day, as opposed to doing nothing, that would have helped me. Yeah. And now I know. I have been back to reprioritize. I am. I've been running for the past 10 days straight. Not straight. That would be really hard to do. But I did I've exercised 10 days. Running now as we're podcasting. Totally not out of breath. Um, but no, I've I've started that back up, and I'm only doing like 15, 20 minutes a day as opposed to my better than nothing, right? Yeah. Yeah. And I'm just trying to take days. Like I plot a height still, but I take days at a time. No. I don't just think about the future. I take, okay, you've got this to do, and you've got these couple days. You get there. Yeah. Yeah. And are you feeling better? I am. I do feel a lot better. Um, and I do think the uh prioritizing the physical mental part of me is really the part that's like the most important. Yeah, it's the most important. And it is, it really is true how much that helps. It is really true.

Claude F 19:01

Oh my goodness, yes. You know how I I started to bike back. That made a big difference. Oh good. Big difference also.

Jess K 19:10

You think it's like the small things, but it's it is each one of them helps you in some sort of way. So I mean, I think before what was what the problem was I was treating each part as something I should be able to fully handle or do on my own and realizing I can't do it all, but I can be responsible for me and what makes me feel good.

Claude F 19:31

Exactly. And at the end of the day, if you feel better, you feel good, you'll be able to produce better.

Jess K 19:39

Yes, yes, yes.

Burnout Warning Signs And Bestie Support

Claude F 19:41

I know.

Jess K 19:41

It's very easy to say that it's very easy to say that too. So to our work bestie community out there, whether you're managing a move, dealing with parents that are eating, dealing with grief, divorce, financial stress, claw, health concerns, any of those major life administration, uh, think about what that toll takes on you because a personal transition is going to take impacts on you, and on it will at times affect you and how you show up to work. And that's okay. Yeah, yeah.

Claude F 20:18

Definitely.

Jess K 20:19

So looking back at, I do think there, obviously where there were signs, and I should have slowed down. Um, and I think those are things that now I recognize and need to put it to the forefront. So for yourself, if you feel like you need reminders of what to think about or what kind of signs to look for, um having that feeling of constantly being behind, no matter how many things you check off your list. And I'm a person who still writes stuff down and I love checking it off and scratching it off. But you feel like for everyone you scratch off, you're like adding 10 more. And it doesn't feel like it's ever really getting better.

Claude F 20:56

Becoming more irritable or emotionally reactive. I I was there. I was there before my vacation. I was irritable, emotionally reactive, not my myself. Your typical self. Yeah.

Jess K 21:10

Um, another one's feeling guilty whenever you're resting yourself, thinking like, oh, I don't even have time to watch this TV show. I have to be doing X, Y, and Z. So that's that's a clear sign. Um, thinking every problem needs to be answered immediately. Uh that is definitely not the case, whether work or personal. There's definitely times you can push back. Working through exhaustion, uh, because feeling like stopping is almost more irresponsible. Or in my case, you're like, well, I'm gonna have a vacation, so I can just stop then. No, that's not that is not an effective approach and will potentially cause and you having issues longer term. Um, losing interest in reading, manifestation writing and running. That's for you. That is literally me. But it's a sign, like I should have noticed. Once I stopped doing all three of those, andor like just avoiding them at all costs, that was clearly a sign.

Claude F 22:08

Yeah.

Jess K 22:09

Um, missing some personal things, um, or avoiding hanging out with personal people, uh, that's clearly a sign too. So work besties out there recognize when your your friends are no longer wanting to chat. Yeah, chat at lunch or or go out for a quick, you know, walk around the block or whatever. Um and then the last one for me was again the feeling like that I I would catch up once I had time to relax. That is a myth in and of itself. You can't wait for the vacations. You do have to have those micro resets along the way.

Claude F 22:49

The micro reset is very important to hold you to your vacation.

Jess K 22:55

Well, the irony is that the more behind I felt, I'll be honest, the more pressure I just kept putting on myself.

Claude F 23:01

That's not that is everybody, right? It becomes like the, you know, the mouse, the hamster wheel. The faster you go through. And at one point, you cannot stop by yourself. Someone needs to help you stop. You can ask your work bestie and say, Hey, I think you're not doing so good right now. Did you run? Did you do your manifestation or whatever? And that it will be a good thing also for me to realize to check with on you and say, Hey, did you ever run? Did you run today? Did you write? Because then I know that if you didn't, maybe not one day, but for a week you didn't, then I know that there's something.

Jess K 23:43

Yeah, no, I think you're right. I think there's something to that, the discipline, especially well depends on who the people are, but like if it was you you didn't go for your swim, then maybe that's a sign to so it is taking stock and um questioning your bestie, making sure they feel up to date, questioning just friends in general, or even co-workers that you notice have a marketable change. Yeah, just say something because you never know. It could turn their day around or help them out of a funk that you didn't even realize they were having.

Stop Restart Ask Challenge And Closing

Jess K 24:13

Okay, work bestie community. We we were thinking about this, and just like us, we wanted you all to have something to look forward to this summer. So we are recommending a summer reset community challenge. It's called the Stop Restart and Ass. So this week we wanted you to do three small things. So stop one thing that is draining you.

Claude F 24:35

Restart one thing that helps you feel like yourself, and ask one person for the support you actually need. Not a total life overhaul, but a reset, not a reinvention, because we are very good the way we are.

Jess K 24:50

I feel like that is something I should have been doing before the vacation. Alright, so thank you all. Here's what we wanted you to remember, especially me. Rest works better before you reach the wall.

Claude F 25:04

But if hitting the wall is what finally made you stop, well, that does not mean that you failed. Now you'll know for next time. You do not have to recover perfectly. I certainly did not. You do not have to earn your way back to rest.

Jess K 25:19

And you do not have to pretend everything is fine to be a good employee, a good leader, a good friend, or a good work best.

Claude F 25:28

And sometimes supporting each other means sharing each other forward. And sometimes it means helping each other slow down. Exactly. So send this episode to the work bestie who has been saying, I just need to get through this week for the last six weeks.

Jess K 25:46

And ask her what would make next week feel 10% lighter.

Claude F 25:51

Do not forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode to all the work besties out there. Keep supporting each other.

Jess K 26:00

Bye! Remember whether you're swapping snacks in the break room, rescuing each other from endless meetings, or just sending that perfectly timed meme. Having a work bestie is like having your own personal hype squad.

Claude F 26:14

So keep lifting each other up, laughing through the chaos, and of course, thriving. Until next time, stay positive, stay productive, and don't forget to keep supporting each other. Work besties!