Your Boundaries Need Boundaries

Summer Friday: The Boundaries You Forget to Set

What if burnout isn’t only about how much you’re doing — but how much you’re still carrying that could be shared?

In this Summer Friday bonus, we’re continuing our conversation with Karen Ann Dwyer-Tesoriero from Episode 112 and digging into the boundaries we often forget to set — at work and at home.

We talk about how your physical work environment can quietly drain your focus, why protecting your time sometimes means changing how and where you work, and how easily responsibilities at home can pile onto one person.

Karen also challenges us to rethink “delegation” as sharing the load — whether that means giving kids age-appropriate responsibilities, having weekly check-ins with your partner, or making sure one person isn’t carrying the mental load for the entire household.

Because self-care isn’t just about finding more time for yourself. Sometimes it starts with deciding what you no longer need to manage alone.

In this episode:

• Why your work environment may be contributing to exhaustion
• The boundaries that can help protect your focus and time
• Why household responsibilities need to be shared, not assumed
• The value of a weekly partner check-in
• How sharing the load can actually create space for self-care

If Episode 112 had you thinking about what you need to let go of at work, this Summer Friday is your reminder to look at what you’re still carrying everywhere else.

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Work Besties! Theme Song Written by Ralph Lentini @therallyband

Transcript

When Exhaustion Is Not About Work

Jess K 0:00

What if the reason you're exhausted isn't that you have too much to do, but that you're still carrying things that were never meant to be yours alone? In episode 112, Karen helped us understand high achiever burnout and why letting go can feel so uncomfortable. But that pressure does not stop at the office. It shows up in what we refuse to delegate, the environments that drain our focus, and the responsibilities we keep managing at home. So in this Summer Friday bonus, we are talking about the boundaries we forget to set and why protecting your energy sometimes means sharing the load. So let's get into it.

Claude F 0:44

Hi,

Meet The Hosts And The Theme

Claude F 0:45

I'm Clunes, and I'm Jess. We are corporate employees by day, entrepreneurs by night, and work besties for life.

Jess K 0:53

Join us as we explore how work besties lift each other up, laugh through the chaos, and thrive together in every industry. Work besties. Let's go

Boundary Setting Questions At Work

Jess K 1:05

back to the boundary settings. I feel like that's one that we do get a lot of questions on. So can you give us some ideas of uh maybe thinking about leveraging your manager for time management or project prioritization? What are some other tactics or tips you may have for boundary setting?

Karen Dwyer-Tesoriero 1:26

Well,

Focus Boundaries In Distracting Spaces

Karen Dwyer-Tesoriero 1:27

at work, so there's a couple of different ones. Um, whenever you're at work, the first thing that comes to mind is like socializing in the office and recognizing, like now a lot of places have those open workspaces. And so that can be hard for some people. If their attention is being drawn by sounds, by noises, by people walking around, like those kind of work environments really I think slow down. I know a lot of my clients have ADHD and they're like, my coworker across the way is so loud that I can't concentrate on what I'm doing. And those kind of things really do impact on people's ability to produce the work. And then that delays the time in the office or the time online, if that makes sense. So, like recognizing within yourself what distracts me during the day when I'm in work, or if I'm working from home, what distracts me around my house that delays me in getting work done? So that really kind of needs to be looked at because that will oftentimes extend our work day. So using whatever resources are available to us, noise canceling headphones, or you know, being in the office and trying to find a conference room, maybe that you could take a laptop into and get some work done there, just so that you could close the door and get away from those open work environments. They're not always so conducive. It's kind of like little kids that are ADHD and in the classroom. There's so many posters and things around, they get distracted. Adults get distracted too. So we really need to figure out what works best for us in our physical environment and how can we make sure we have those things in place. And that is a boundary. That is another boundary of like, I can't work in an environment like this.

Jess K 3:12

Yeah, no, I agree. Yeah, I was uh nicely told by some people in my area that they would appreciate it if I when I was on conference calls to go into a room. I am very loud. No, I don't I didn't get any of that. Um, but yeah, definitely agree that people need to know their own limitations and open environments and how they best can work.

Karen Dwyer-Tesoriero 3:40

And limiting our time at work as far as like making sure that we're working within the eight hours that we're contracted to work, that's another way. Um, and

Home Boundaries And Sharing The Load

Karen Dwyer-Tesoriero 3:49

another way with boundaries, and and a lot of this is different, but how can we change things at home? So we have boundaries at home as well, and people often miss that, especially women. They take so much on at home. And so, one of the things that I talk often about, if you have young kids, three years and older, they could start doing stuff around the house. Little three-year-olds could put napkins on the table at dinner time. That's the start of teaching them that responsibility and that that's something they have to do. When they're five, six years old, they could put the plates on the table. So mom doesn't have to do that, dad doesn't have to do that. So we could do little things like that that really help us and even our partners sit down once a week and have a check-in. This is what's going on this week. This is what needs to get done. What are you gonna do? So I don't have to think about it. I don't have to double check you, I don't have to micromanage you on that. You're just gonna take it and run with it. So, even grocery shopping, you're gonna take the list, you're gonna make the list, you're gonna check the sales cart circular, you're gonna get the coupons, you're gonna go to the store, you're gonna come back, you're gonna put everything away, and you're gonna put the bags away. Like, I don't have to think about groceries this week. So, really checking in with how we could set boundaries with every part of our lives because we gotta make the self-care the priority part, and that's what gets lost.

Claude F 5:09

Yeah, I like the way you're saying also, even at home, is knowing how to delegate. Yeah. At the end of the day, it's delegating. Yes. Yeah. And go ahead. I'm sorry.

Karen Dwyer-Tesoriero 5:22

No, no, go ahead.

Weekly Check Ins And Household Management

Karen Dwyer-Tesoriero 5:24

When when we're in a partnership in our homes, that has to be run almost like a business. We should be checking in with finances together, we should be checking in about our sex life, we should be talking about our relationship, we should be talking, and that's why I say couples should be doing a weekly check-in with each other on all these different topics and really keep that connection going because you're you're managing a business of the households, and you got to keep that going. So, what do we need to do? How do we have to delegate that? And that is something that'll help us with the self-care. It loosens up some of the free time at home so we could do these little self-care things to kind of take care of ourselves.

Jess K 6:02

Yeah. Uh I like how you said uh for me, it's it's less about the delegation, it's more about how do you share those responsibilities and having that weekly check-in helps to provide the discussion point of no, you need to do some of this too. It doesn't all just fall on me, right?

Karen Dwyer-Tesoriero 6:16

Yeah, you'd be surprised how many people, and I see this all the time, and and this as a woman makes my head explode. So many women in a relationship in a two-parent home or a two or two-couple home, somebody doesn't know the finances of the family. That is mind-blowing to me. Like at this day and age, whether you're a stay-at-home mom, whether you're a type A, whether you're type B, I don't care if you're type Z, you need to come together with your partner and you need to know where those finances are. What are we investing in? What does our checking account look like? Like, we cannot turn blind eyes to that. And I think a lot of women still do that.

Jess K 6:56

That's a good call out. Yeah.

Money Visibility And Final Takeaways

Jess K 6:58

If there's any takeaway from today, then make sure uh you are running your household like a business and be thinking about all those points. Remember, whether you're swapping snacks in the break room, rescuing each other from endless meetings, or just sending that perfectly timed meme. Having a work bestie is like having your own personal hype squad.

Claude F 7:18

So keep lifting each other up, laughing through the chaos, and of course, thriving. Until next time, stay positive, stay productive, and don't forget to keep supporting each other. Work besties!